92nd Avenue Tavern

Doesn't Recommend

George Costanza

Joined 3 years ago

Not even good enough to be called a dive bar. I honestly can't think of a worse place I've been. Maybe you might find a worse dump in Tijuana, but it would still probably be more fun in TJ.

Everyone there is a regular and they're all career alcoholics. Those that have jobs, show up at 5 PM and stay until last call getting beyond drunk and then driving home (which doesn't seem to bother anyone in there). Those that do not have jobs show up at 8 AM and stay until last call. Even some of the heaviest drinkers I know avoid it.

If you put a quarter down on a pool table, keep your ears open because the regulars give you about 18 seconds to start your game before stealing your money.

Are you a single guy on the prowl? Do you like gross, overweight old women with mustaches? This is your place.

They, illegally, allow smoking inside. Nothing says class like a bar where, even as a non-smoker, you'll smell like cigarettes for days. They keep their boxes of toilet paper under the tables and empty kegs are scattered all over the place, so watch your step. You might also need to step over a drunk passed out on the floor.

It's a family place. Really...on the off chance that there is an attractive girl there, you'll have to win over her mom who is also there with her.

They only take cash, and I don't know what would happen if you tried to pay with a card, but it might not be good.

Long review short...it's a great place if you like smelling like smoke and enjoy the linguistic challenge of talking to someone who has been drunk since 8 AM.